Health & Wellness
by
Tiease D. Deutsch RN
Far from conceit I was crippled by nerves. Still to this day I don't know how much of my self-effacing years was natural and exactly how much of it was due to Mommy's strict anti-social rearing & forbiddening me to mingle with our neighbors; criticizing and/or punishing me when I broke her golden rule. It wasn't the best area and Mommy believed she was doing the right thing to keep me safe by forcing me to ascribe to an introverted behavior would keep me safe. It doesn't matter any more since what ever the reason I had to find a solution to my problem which in my early teens had me stuttering due to anxiety.
I had to find myself and come to love myself to realize that I had worth and when people complimented me and told my mother that I was her most beautiful daughter I begin to see myself in a more possitive light. My first love Donald helped solidify my confidence when he told me how beautiful I was but all that beauty also made him very protective of me and since he had such a natural gift for gab (talk/conversation) he naturally did all of the talking. This was find and dandy until, Donald got himself thrown into jail being such a free spirit and I had to confront the world and again face socializing and communicating on a nonintellectual level (small talk) because I could always talk books, science and on an intellectual level.
I taught myself with a lot of intense self-evaluation and self-awareness before Donald was even released from jail he had already noticed a difference in me and said so, he looked astonished when he first watch me converse with a Preacher who was making his rounds in the family visiting area of the jail. I've continuted to progress from that point and of course there are going to be awkward social affairs and meeting; even public speaking commitments that I am confronted from time to time but instead of seeing them as horrible plights where everyone will be looking at me and i some how am being judged or will make a mistake. I take the opportunity to shine and prove something to myself. I know that life is a continual learning experience and that as long as I live people will be judging and looking at me and so what. I welcome the spotlight; After all how can you truly call yourself a stylist or Fashionista when you're too afraid to open your mouth or flaunt your own independent style and sense of self.
A confident Diva can rule a room from the moment she enter it. No one is an absolute genius and if you are familiar with topic and have no interest in the topic don't try to fake it there are too many asses out there just looking to put you to shame. If you are really interested in the topic listen and inquire about something if you're truly interested or just excuse yourself and mingle else where.
Prior to attending any social event a good rule of thumb for anyone who suffers from social anxiety would be to remind yourself of all your positive qualities. The foxy outfit you're wearing can spark conversation all on its on.
No matter which natural mood supplement you may try keep in mind that it usually takes at least two week for you to notice any benefits from it (this is often the same situation with antipressants).
Some people stutter when they're comfronted with any social situtation. It's about paying attention here think about what you want to say prior to saying it and if you notice yourself becoming too anxious stop take a breath think about what you want to say again, don't be embarassed better you gather you thoughts and clearly state them rather then stuttering to get out one word.
Remember that if you do decide to perform self acupuncture you should always wash your hands prior to starting and always sterilize your needles in boiling water and swab with alcohol. Unsterilized needles can potentially result in an infection so that opens up a whole new cup of worms.
Recognize your self worth. Feel confident that once someone gets to know you and they are mutally agreeable to you that they will like you. If you visualize being rejected, mocked and bullied, this will only increase your anxiety.
Remember a well placed polite joke can help break the ice.
Shyness and the Fashionista
It's not easy to successfully flaunt your stuff or bring the vogue when you're crippled by extreme bashful disorder. I speak feelingly because I was once too shy for my own good, I really didn't start to blossom (learn to converse with ease) until I was about 23 years old and then I stunned my Donald to the bone.
I was never a patsy however I was extremely self-conscious which is why I was shy of course. I was so shy I couldn't eat lunch in Highschool in the cafeteria so I spent my lunch time in the library. Those day are long gone!
I was blessed with a natural beauty but because of a close relative's constant criticizing of me, it took me years to realize and recognize that I was both intelligent and attractive. Like other shy individuals unfortunately some people often mistakenly assumed my bashfulness I was due to snobbishness and conceit. I knew their assumptions were ridiculously in error and that the truth of the matter was that I was severely self-conscious, & wary of strangers. I lacked the social skills and confidence to make them understand where I was coming from.
Far from conceit I was crippled by nerves. Still to this day I don't know how much of my self-effacing years was natural and exactly how much of it was due to Mommy's strict anti-social rearing & forbiddening me to mingle with our neighbors; criticizing and/or punishing me when I broke her golden rule. It wasn't the best area and Mommy believed she was doing the right thing to keep me safe by forcing me to ascribe to an introverted behavior would keep me safe. It doesn't matter any more since what ever the reason I had to find a solution to my problem which in my early teens had me stuttering due to anxiety.
Small wonder it took me many years of self-reconditioning to over come my "Wall-Flower" existance and obtain a more appropriate stage of social eptness, but It didn't come easy! My transformation was one hell of a challenge which I had to & triumph over & learn to trust in myself and combate my extreme -demure manner.
I had to find myself and come to love myself to realize that I had worth and when people complimented me and told my mother that I was her most beautiful daughter I begin to see myself in a more possitive light. My first love Donald helped solidify my confidence when he told me how beautiful I was but all that beauty also made him very protective of me and since he had such a natural gift for gab (talk/conversation) he naturally did all of the talking. This was find and dandy until, Donald got himself thrown into jail being such a free spirit and I had to confront the world and again face socializing and communicating on a nonintellectual level (small talk) because I could always talk books, science and on an intellectual level.I taught myself with a lot of intense self-evaluation and self-awareness before Donald was even released from jail he had already noticed a difference in me and said so, he looked astonished when he first watch me converse with a Preacher who was making his rounds in the family visiting area of the jail. I've continuted to progress from that point and of course there are going to be awkward social affairs and meeting; even public speaking commitments that I am confronted from time to time but instead of seeing them as horrible plights where everyone will be looking at me and i some how am being judged or will make a mistake. I take the opportunity to shine and prove something to myself. I know that life is a continual learning experience and that as long as I live people will be judging and looking at me and so what. I welcome the spotlight; After all how can you truly call yourself a stylist or Fashionista when you're too afraid to open your mouth or flaunt your own independent style and sense of self.
Now don't get me wrong it will take effort on your behalf. A Fashionista must be fabulously proud of herself and all that it means to be her. To strut your business in the face of other and act like and believe you are fabulous it is key to be self-assured and be prepared to make to be convergent, comfortable, relax in a social setting and mingle even if you don't know anyone in the room.
A confident Diva can rule a room from the moment she enter it. No one is an absolute genius and if you are familiar with topic and have no interest in the topic don't try to fake it there are too many asses out there just looking to put you to shame. If you are really interested in the topic listen and inquire about something if you're truly interested or just excuse yourself and mingle else where.
The best advice may seem ciche` but it's true,:The ultimate method of meeting people and even introducing yourself to potential new friend is to be genuine. Don't fret about how much money or education you have or don't have if the individual is worth knowing and a quality personality they will be ligitimately polite and if they are fake you need not stress yourself out trying to keep up with an empty head and empty soul.
There are some good rules to follow to avoid being deemed a social Wallflower. You can win and make socializing your forte.
Rude and uncouth behavior will make one a social pariah. You can be beautiful and fashionable without without the attitude.
Extreme bashfulness is a form of anxiety and stress which stems from a lack of self-esteem which means you may need professional counseling (if your problem is severe). Not everyone need professional assistance. You can start by recognizing your accomplishments and real self-worth. You exist and God didn't make a mistake with you.
If you think that your may be suffering from severe anti-social ineptness or severely bashful then you must first recognize and break down your symptoms. Some common signs and symptoms include:
Headache in anticipation of a social event or encounter.
Dry mouth.
Stuttering
Nausea
Irritability
Dizziness
Sudden fatique
shaking knees
Asthma attack (brought on by anticipation of social gathering)
Breaking out in hives
Blush excessively
Sweat profusely
Sweat profusely
Url: http://youtu.be/iOfabrp9QAE
Worry excessively about saying the wrong thing during social gatherings.
Once your symptoms are affecting your confidence & lifestyle so negatively you've probably reached the stage of considering professional intervention to avoid progressing to full blown social anxiety disorder which can prevents you from engaging in normal life activities, like work, family gathering, school, and establishing a solid intimate long term relationship.
Once you're disinclined to obtrude yourself avoiding social situations or passing over good opportunities because you feel inferior in some way and/or too anxious it is time you take action. Fortunately there is hope, help and if you are willing to apply an earnest effort you can utilize some helpful self-strategies to overcome your hesitation and gain self-esteem.
Self-Esteem Boosters & Real priority tips
Laughter is a good way to overcome stress anxiety because laughter stimulates your body's natural pain killer called endorphins which are feel good chemical released in your brain when you laugh. Endorhins also ease anxiety. Remember that snobbish doesn't equal social.
Believe it or not scientist/researchers at the university of Tennessee state that,"Shyness is herediatary". Fortunately they believe there are exercises you can perform and therapist which can help.
Keep in mind that a certain degree of coyness may be stimulating to a certain type of lover and in traditional Japanese cultures women where suppose to be coy and shy.
Try This: Take command of the situation at a gathering by asking the quesitons;becoming the the inquirer rather than allowing yourself to be drilled by strangers. Keep in mind that most people love to talk about themselves, especially when they're jet-setters who are always globe trotting or very vain.
You can also ask the person to repeat their name right after they pronounce this helps in two ways, first it shows that you were listening, interested in the proper pronounciation of their name and gives you a few extra minutes to gather your thoughts. Afterward you can follow-up with a comment such as,"That's a unusual or lovely name-what does it mean? What's its origin?
Prior to attending any social event a good rule of thumb for anyone who suffers from social anxiety would be to remind yourself of all your positive qualities. The foxy outfit you're wearing can spark conversation all on its on.
Avoid standing around in front of your mirror reprouching yourself, instead become your own cheerleader. You can be classy, stunning and quite polite simultaneously. Aim for self-confidence, self-satisfaction, self-applause,self-knowledge and honesty.
There is a direct link between shyness and depression when you don't feel good you don't feel like socializing or have much faith in anything that you do. Chocolate and caffeine taken in moderation are both natural mood elevators and research points to the carbs in veggies, fruits, and grains like oats may trigger production of serotonin which can elevate your mood. Consider combining an herbal treatment with any intervention you try. I recommend these general beneficial herbal remedies:
Full spectrum Vitex Extract it supports women's hormone regulation.
Shatavari Ayurvedic Female Rejuvenator.
Dong Quai general herbal supplement.
Valerian is a natural herb hat aids in sleep and getting enough beauty sleep isn't just good for your outward beauty but physically and mentally sleep deprivation can make any moody and nonsociable.
I find natural supplements beneficial in general so I love them. Check with your health care provider to make sure that any supplement you may want to take is not contraindicated for you or possibly react negatively with medications you may already be taking.
No matter which natural mood supplement you may try keep in mind that it usually takes at least two week for you to notice any benefits from it (this is often the same situation with antipressants).
Not everyone wants to hear this but regular exercise are helpful like: Cycling, walking, swimming, dancing, sex, yoga all release your bodies natural pain killers-those feel good endorphines which are credited with the natural runners high many joggers speak of.
A little quiet time, preparation and meditation prior to a social event can greatly benefit & prepare you. Try deep breathing exercises. Breathing in deeply through your nose then slowly exhale through perched lips. Do 15 of these in up to 3 sets.
Some people stutter when they're comfronted with any social situtation. It's about paying attention here think about what you want to say prior to saying it and if you notice yourself becoming too anxious stop take a breath think about what you want to say again, don't be embarassed better you gather you thoughts and clearly state them rather then stuttering to get out one word.
Another big problem associated with social anxiety is a dry mouth. Believe me it's noticable especially when your mouth is severely dry and your lips are starting to crack. Always have a piece of gum or hard candy handy. To rehydrate think h2o rather than alcohol which will furtherr dehydrate you. A little natural vaseline on your lips goes a long way and helps quickly create that moist lips appearance.
When it comes to social graces and the dos and donts there are hundred of possibilities but one thing you can consider is if nothing seems to help perhaps therapy may be your best option. Don't be afraid to discuss your concerns with your health care provider and chill. No one can satisfy everyone and not everyone will like you that's just life. What matters most is that you know that you are a good person, fine, sexy. God loves you and you look good!
Acupuncture
Self Acupuncture is an ancient technique used to promote health and well being by inserting small needless into different points on the body. If you are interested seek help from an experienced licensed acupucture expert who can teach you how to properly and safely perform some simple at home acupuncture techniques. There are also acupuncture kits you may use to perform self acupuncture between treatments. Surf the net, talk to friends & check your phone book for an acupuncturist in your area.
Do research and self educate yourself about acupuncture so you are aware of what to expect. Know that their are needles involved so if you have a fear of needles this may not be the treatment for you.
Remember that if you do decide to perform self acupuncture you should always wash your hands prior to starting and always sterilize your needles in boiling water and swab with alcohol. Unsterilized needles can potentially result in an infection so that opens up a whole new cup of worms.
Join a support group. You can just listen at first then join in the conversation when you feel comfortable.
In no time you'll be the confident sensual Fashionista; If you so desire the wild-life of the party with the outstanding and/or outlandish personality! Come join the Social-Fashionista-Revolution. It's an incredible world out here but you have to establish your voice, place and apply yourself with self-assured confidence!
copyright 8/26/2012 Tiease D. Deutsch R.N.
© by Tiease D. Deutsch 8/29/2012
R.N./Creative Consultant/Author/Artist
